Tuesday, April 03, 2007

SPT~ Plays Well With Others

My friends have made the story of my life.
Helen Keller

I would love to see how we play with our friends, our neighbors, our siblings. are you having a game night? a date night? a girls morning out for coffee and target? will you go to a party? or a picnic? are you on vacation? do you find yourself intimidated by these gatherings, or do you jump right in and organize them yourself?do you play well with others?


Like I have said many times before, I am extremely shy, especially when it comes to talking to others and sharing my feelings. I am this way with everyone~ strangers, friends, & family. I have a hard time opening up and letting my true self shine, for fear of being judged, not only by others, but mostly by myself. Am I as thin or pretty as the next girl. Have I been as successful, traveled the world, raised valiant children?

I have always been the follower of the crowd, but always knew when to stop following when things were going on that I didn't like to participate in. I think this hurt me as young teen. Instead of standing up for myself and speaking what I felt, I tended to just stop being friends with those people, fearing I would be judged by what I would or wouldn't do. I wish I would have been told this quote back then...


Be who you are and say what you feel, because, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Dr. Suess

I grew up in a small town, and graduated with most of the same people I started kindergarten with. I had friends, usually just a few that I did stuff with regularly. I had many(what I thought were friends, but now realize they were more just acquaintances, all through school. Just a few weeks ago I was packing up some things from my childhood(I shouldn't have taken them to storage) and came across some of my yearbooks. I flipped through all of the "autographs" and was brought back to my years in junior high and high school, realizing I had people I chatted with and hung out with at school, but few true friends. I don't remember how many, but there were quite a few of the girls that signed B/F/F, before their name. I smiled at some of these as I recalled fun times we had, but smirked at others when I flashed back to some of the times when they were mean to me, and I was to them.

As I got older, I shifted from having girl friends to having guy friends. Not because I was this hot babe(I was so far from that) all the guys liked, but because I felt less intimadated by guys and knew there would be no competing with them. I always felt with girls that you had to be a certain way, wear a certain type of clothes, wear makeup and have your hair done ALWAYS, or you didn't fit in. Having my guy friends illuminated this, to a degree. I sometimes was looked down upon by the girls because I hung with the guys. I didn't necessarily want to marry any of these guys, but I just felt more comfortable being with them, and the girls saw it a different way. I played sports, as did they, so I felt I had more in common with them, than my friends that were cheerleaders. I never considered myself a tomboy, just an average girl that didn't want all of the competing that went along with hanging with the popular girls. I did continue to have a few girl friends that I would do things with on the weekends. I send Christmas cards to them, and have even ran into some of them years later and started giggling and chatting like no time had passed. Thinking about all of my friends I had growing up there are only a few, if they were asked, that would probably say we were great friends, back in the day. This somewhat makes me a little sad, wandering if people would consider me a friend, many years later.

I had report cards that were almost a repeat every six weeks. The grades wouldn't change much and the teacher's comments were always the same. "Angie is very quiet in class. She pays attention and she gets along with others." I was definitely not the type to cause contention with friends. My siblings, well that is a totally different story.

Playing has not always been a challenge for me, but it seems it is now. I remember having a great imagination as a kid, and would rather take a hatchet or saw out into the woods, to build a fort than sit inside and play dolls or a board game. Now that I have gotten older, my ideas of playing have changed. I think I have a hard time with letting go of being an adult and getting down on my girls' level, and playing as if I were still young. I have a fear of my daughters growing up and only remembering the shopping, running errands, cleaning, and not remembering me playing with them. I tend to worry about the cleaning, laundry, a tv show I am watching, and catch myself telling them, on numerous occasions, "not right now", or "in a minute." We plan fun things to do, but that's just it they are always planned, hardly ever are they just a spur of the moment card game.

Having friends is very important to me and keeps me smiling. I have been blessed with great friends throughout my life, along the roads I have traveled. Making these friends did not come easy for me. I realize it is my true nature to stay distant, follow what others are doing, not opening up, and hoping they will like me, just because. These friends have helped me through happy and sad times, rough ones and easy ones. They have kept me sane and laughing when laughing was farthest from my mind. Hopefully these friends will always be able to think of me as their friend and not think of me as "she was my friend."

This weekend I made it a point to let loose of the grownup in me and be a kid again. Jenny and I jumped on the trampoline, palyed on the swings and slide and were laughing so much we almost peed our pants. Even though we were doing this mainly because we needed pictures to post for today, it was fun to play like we were small, and for our kids to see us playing. Jenny has been a lifesaver living down the street. She has seen me at my worst and at my best. She knows when I need a pick me up, a kick in the butt, or just an ear to complain to. I believe we are put in places for reasons, and know we both ended up in San Antonio for a reason , not just by coincindence. It always brings smile to my face when people will say they thought we knew each other long before we ended up living down the street from one another. It is funny how we get the sisters comment, and the occasional twins comment. We don't look alike(to us) but others seem to think we do. I guess it is true you start to look and act like the friends you have. I feel the friends I have had over the years have surely made me a better person. I am so glad I have had friends that have lifted me higher like Oprah says in this quote...

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher." - -- Oprah Winfrey



Out of all of my friends, Greg is my favorite. He knows me inside and out. The good, the bad, and the ugly and he still loves me. We have fun together. We were friends long before we ever started dating, and have become better friends every year we have been together. We have a great time together, laughing, smiling, and playing, just as we did this weekend, on our date.


I hope to take time to be a better playmate to my girls, my husband, and my friends. I want my "life report card" to state boldly- She plays well with others!

20 comments:

Elizabeth said...

What a wonderful post Angie. And adorable photos!

Jenny said...

I think your post turned out great, despite what you think! I think I am guilty of not playing with my kids as well. Thanks for the reminder this weekend. We wouldn't have had great photos if it wasn't for your ideas. Thanks for being you. Love ya to pieces!!

Anonymous said...

Angie - that's a wonderful post!!!! I will always consider you a friend - you were my first best friend and I think the world of you. It's funny you were looking at yearbooks this weekend, I did the same thing because Kole wanted to look at friends' parents and I was looking at signatures and thinking the same as you. It's strange how some of the people I thought were good friends really didn't know me. It wasn't until my senior year that I felt confident enough to stand up for what I believed was right and wrong without caring about being judged - I proud you were able to do that all along. Keep in touch! BFF Christi

Allison said...

Great post! Your photos of you and Jen are priceless. I especially like Jenny holding herself.

I am so glad to call you my friend.

carlo said...

loved teh quotes and the pics...oh such a great friend in jenny. so sweet to hear.

it is wonderful to have a friend to just let go with and who will love you no matter what...

Stephanie said...

Loved your post. I related to your post about having more guy friends as I got older. It was definitely easier being friends with guys than with competitive girls :D. You and Jenny are so cute. You guys are like sisters I'm sure. How fun to have each other so close.

Amberly said...

I was really touched by your words today. I also put off playing sometimes in order to get one more task accomplished. I think that a few good friends take us further than a million ok ones- and I really liked your quotes. thank you.

Bridget said...

Ang- You are a good friend and are so sweet. I have really enjoyed getting to know you even better through the blogs. It was great to hand out with you and Greg recently. Hopefully we can see you all again in october. Love the picture of you two on the trampoline. Is that the moment Jenny about peed her pants? :)

Jill said...

Those pictures of you and Jenny are so funny, did Jenny's method help with the pee situation? I'm thinking no. (I can't jump on a trampoline for that very reason, nor can I cough or sneeze, it's a nuisance.)

amy m said...

Fabulous post. Great quotes. I am loving those photos of you and jenny. It has been forever since I've been on a trampoline.

Laurie said...

You and Jenny do look like you are having a lot of fun. I guess it's worth letting loose sometimes and reverting back! I love the quotes.

Kari said...

Hey, we have the same swingset!! Gotta love Costco!

Love the pictures!!

Price Cream Parlor said...

Seriously a huge blessing to have a friend like that through all this residency! Love the thoughts behind this - and loved the last quote of "life's report card" - so true!
Cute photos!

becca said...

What a great post. You and Jenny definatly have a special bond and I have a feeling you will stay very close, even with a move!

I love your part about your husband....that is how I feel. My husband knows me better than anyone and has truly seen the worst in me...but still he loves me more than anyone else. What a huge comfort! YOu and Jenny look so cute in those pictures!

Amy said...

I Love that first picture of you & Jenny. Amazing. You two are so dang cute. And your post was fabulous.

Lucy said...

You seem like such a gentle soul. I'm glad that you have a great friend that you feel safe with.

I love your honesty.

Hannah said...

I couldn't agree more on the girl/guy friend thing- you wrote it all out so well. I am sad for you that Jenny will be moving in a year but loved your comment on my blog about not rushing the inevitable.

Rachel said...

I can relate to the being friends with guy thing...that's how I spent all of high school up until I met and married my husband almost 10 years ago. Even then, I didn't have a deep connection with women until about 4 years ago. There's no way to place a value on having a deep, close friendship with another woman/women except to say it is priceless! It's good to have friends!

lelly said...

angie, i love what you have said in this post. the pics of you and jenny made me want to get on the trampoline with you!

michelle said...

Those pictures are priceless! My favorite is the one on the swing. Great friends can help you through anything. I loved the Dr. Seuss quote, I think everyone in jr. high and high school needs a dose of that wisdom!