Today was one of those days that could have made it into a record book. Maybe not the Guiiness Book of World records, but definitely into Angie's Record Book.
I had mentioned back last week, that on Christmas Eve Sunday, I was probably supposed to be one of the people that was asked to bear their testimony. I hadn't returned the bishop's phonecall from the Saturday night before, because I was scared he was calling to ask me something I didn't like to do. Well Jenny ended up probably taking my place that Sunday when she was asked just before Sacrament meeting started to bear her testimony, so my heart raced the entire meeting and when time ran out I was relieved, to say the least. I had said my testimony over, and over, and over that day.
Last night Greg got called in at around 2 a.m. and never came back home. His patient was a bit difficult so he decided to just find a bed at the hospital and laid down sometime after 4. He got up at 6 to round and made it home about 930. He said he was just going to lay down while I finished getting ready and he would go to church with us. Oh yea, we changed to 11 o'clock church today!!! Well, I decided not to wake him up because he was practically dead and never moved after he fell asleep. I made it to church and I continued to think about bearing my testimony and what I would say if I did.
WELL, Maryn, or someone else, knew my plan on getting up today, and kept challenging me during sacrament. Maryn was so fussy to the point she was acting like baby not a 2 1/2 year old. I was so nervous that each time I stood up to walk to the back with Maryn my knees would almost give out on me. Finally, I just told myself I would attempt it, take Maryn up with me(she would have screamed if I would have left her with Mackenzi & Maci), and see how it went. NOT GOOD!!! I seriously have no control of my emotions and as soon as I opened my mouth I felt like a blubbering fool! I started out relaying the story of the Christmas Eve Sunday, and I said I had this strong feeling I was one of people that was going to be asked to bear their testimony. I looked over my should at our Bishop, and he was grinning and nodding his head. I said that I am TERRIFIED of getting up in front of people and I amd extremely shy and feel my words never flow like I rehearse the in my head. My knees were seriously, shaking so hard that they were almost knocking the pulpit. And of course I was wearing boots today, and the Stake President was sitting directly behind me, and I thought he was afraid he was going to have to step in if I started to faint. I blubbered my way through my testimony saying a few things about forgiveness, my family, my daughters, President Hinkley...then I said I was thankful for my husband, THAT WASN'T THERE(I heard a few chuckles) and then I said something to the affect that he was going to kill me for him missing it since I don't do it very often. Then I heard louder chuckles. I finished and when I turned around to walk away the bishop thanked me. I felt stupid for being so emotional, but also felt good that I had overcome one of my biggest fears. Several people thanked me for showing courage and for adding to the spirit of the meeting. I also got a phonecall from a sister in the ward tonight thanking me. She said she is the same way, and she was sure there are others that don't get up because o fthe same reasons and I might have helped them, too.
The funny part of this story is, after I finished, me not knowing, Doug texted paged Greg thinking he was at work, telling him he missed it. Greg woke up to the beeping of his phone and said he felt ill when he read it but was so tired he couldn't even think straight. He got another call from a patient and decided to just come on to church even though he was only going to be their for priesthood. Several people told him he missed out, including the bishop and one of his counselors. I'm a bit sad he missed it but promised him and myself I would do it again sooner than later.
Our afternoon was nice and quiet. We grilled hamburgers, had FHE, planned our meals for the week, played Disney Scene It, and watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition as a family.
*Another one for the record books. I haven't lost my patience with my kids in two days!!!*
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6 comments:
Good for you! That is a hard thing to do. Too bad he missed it, but like you said, there will be other times, right?
Maybe next time will be easier and Greg will be there to see it. I always feel embrassed after bearing my testimony. I would much rather give a talk where I have everything written out.
Good for you for getting up. I find that it is one of the hardest things to do and that walk up to the pulpit has got to be the longest walk.
I'm a blubbering mess when I get up and bear my testimony.
I think your testimony was AWESOME. You sounded much more together than I did a few weeks ago. I think I had a frog in my throat or something. When you went up Doug looked at me and said, "is Angie really going up?" I don't think I have EVER heard her speak. He said it was a must to textpage Greg.
Woo hoo for being patient! Maybe we should make some sort of pack. Hee hee. I had a hard time today, (with being patient) but managed to control it.
Angie, I get nervous bearing my testimony as well. I am also nervous giving prayers, but for some reason, I am not very nervous giving talks in church. I bore my testimony in church the day I got baptized, once in college, and on a random Sunday last year when my husband wasn't even there to hear it. I'm not sure why I did it then, and he was bummed to miss it. I may have to work up my courage and do it again sometime.
Great job on overcoming your fears and being moved by the spirit. You were blessed to go up there, but those in the congregation were even more blessed to hear you.
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