It is amazing what a few days, and the first day of a new month can do for me. I looked down at my gas gauge last night, by Maci's urgent request, (she somehow sees the gas light come on from the backseat of our van). Thoughts rushed through my head of how I needed my camera to take a picture of my "tank being empty". I could blog about this, I thought. Then I realized that a post about my tank being empty, wouldn't be an accurate post, not today anyway~Last week, YES!! As I drove on, I thought I'll take a picture of the gauge after I fill up and that will sum up how I'm feeling today.
If any of you read my post from Sunday, about being happy(or not-so happy), you probably thought I had serious issues. You would have thought things were terrible, they were never going to get better, and maybe even thought I should be "committed", for being so unhappy. Well, I made a pact with myself, that I was changing. I wasn't going to let the little things that go wrong, the things that didn't turn out just perfect(in my eyes), the weather, grumpy kids...effect the way I felt. The first day was rough. I cried a lot, felt sorry for myself, thought my life was terrible, when in fact I am so richly blessed. I just had to get past the felling sorry for myself, and the world is against me thoughts, and then I was okay.
On Sunday at our Stake Conference several speakers mentioned President Hinckley's challenge, back in August of 2005, of reading the Book Of Mormon, before the end of the year. I did finish the challenge(a few days late) that I started in September. For some reason or another, I hadn't heard about the challenge right away, so I got a little late start. Since then (I am publicly confessing) I haven' t read my scriptures on a regular basis, for personal benefit, since. I know, SAD, but true. I can't believe I finished it in just a few short months, when given the challenge and promise of great blessings, but on a normal routine day I can't find a few minutes to sit, read and ponder, something I believe so dearly in. I even said to someone recently, that I needed President Hinckley to issue a challenge every few months so I take reading my scriptures more seriously. There is something about being given a challenge and accomplishing it. I guess I see a competitive streak in myself.
So since Sunday evening, I am happy to report I have read almost 100 pages in the Book Of Mormon. For you non-LDS gals, this is huge (for me anyway). It has been if I have picked up a best seller book at the bookstore, started reading it and can't seem to put it down. I've never been this way about scripture reading before. I usually tend to fall asleep after reading just a few verses, or think okay just one chapter tonight so I can mark it off of my to-do list. I also have read several articles in the Ensign and even read some of the Friend with my girls. I l also haven't freaked out about the house being a little more of a mess, because I sat down and did something just for me, rather than be on my feet non-stop all day, so things don't get neglected, when in reality I have been neglecting the most important thing, myself!
So today, on the first day of March, I can happily report that not only does my car have a full tank of gas, I too have been "refueled", thanks to reading my scriptures, saying my personal prayers, and changing my attitude.
